"We gotta go to Iraq because they're the most dangerous country on Earth, they're the most dangerous regime in the world." If they so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks to take over the whole f***ing country? Man, you couldn't take over Baltimore in two weeks.
Chris Rock has never shied away from any topic, so he's talked about relationships plenty over the years. He's paying $25,000 a month in alimony, got another man driving around in his car and f**king his wife in a house he's still paying the mortgage on.
He's said a lot of hilarious things about them, but also a lot of thoughtful and intelligent things. Now I'm not saying he should have killed her...
I can walk down any street in America and women will clutch their purses tighter, hold onto their mace, lock their car doors. "If they ain't cutting it off, I ain't paying." She would say, "The first bill is a suggestion.
If I look up into the windows of the apartments I pass, I can see old ladies on the phone. If they really want you to pay it, then they'll come and tap on your window." Her whole philosphy of life was: if you die owing money, then you've won. If you're one of the chosen few people in the world lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the s**t out of it!
They've already dialed 9-1- and are just waiting for me to do something wrong. People are starving all over the world, what do you mean, "Red meat will kill you"? The only thing I know about Africa is that it's far, far away. The boat ride's so long, there are still slaves on their way here. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f**king lactose intolerance?!