Your selfhood is still in the state of evolving and is easily influenced.
Ideally, by the time one reaches adulthood, the inner messages are much stronger than the outside influences.
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This realization inspired me to learn everything I possibly could about addiction.
This fear is present because you never clearly established your sense of self while you were growing into adulthood.
Control: Adult children like to be in control because otherwise situations might return to those of their childhood with all the associated pain and chaos.
The controlling child may well have played the role of rescuer within the family, intervening in parental arguments and even having to reverse roles by looking after siblings or putting the adult to bed.
But the coping mechanisms these children developed when young - and which worked pretty well as emotional shields during those often terrifying years - were found to no longer work for them as adults.