His other social media profiles are really private. You're thinking things are going really well so far. Is he sleeping during the day and going out at night to fight crime? He sends 15 texts in a row when you don't respond right away. Time to send nine more just to make sure you're not missing them. attentive now, just wait until you meet in person.5. You're probably hoping he has a sexy, checkered past. In reality, he just doesn't want you to find out about his DUI.6. He knows better than to explicitly text, "I m so horne," or ask for pictures of your breasts, but he's . There's no way anyone showers or lifts that much, bro.8. You've had plans to meet up on multiple occasions, and something always happens. People are always checking him out when he walks down the street, but he hates the attention. Even if it's a really pretty dick, the odds that this guy is going to be a good husband are slim to none. He calls you "baby" within his first three messages.
You're really hitting it off, but the dude is basically a ghost. No one who online dates is "off the grid." He's hiding a dark secret (or he just has a girlfriend).2. And then suddenly you don't hear from him for 12 hours. Either his mom gets sick or he gets a flat tire or his mom gets sick again. Bailing eight times means he's hoping you'll send him nude pictures without him ever having to actually meet you.9. He's always complaining about the long hours he works, but he makes really good money, so it's OK. Everyone likes to talk themselves up when you first meet them, but he really forces conversations in odd directions just to get the chance to make himself look cool. Unless you are actually a giant baby, Benjamin Button-style, there's no reason for some guy you don't know to call you that.
"Hey, how about for our first date, we grab a bite to eat, and then I [vague reference to oral here]." Chances are slim you are going to be like, "Yeah, dude.
After a short hiatus from the world of online dating (because it sucks, you guys), I'm back with more tales of hilarity. There is no point in lying on your profile about things that are obvious within five minutes of meeting you in person. Why contact me and bother discussing meeting up and dating if you live two thousand miles away? It's a tad creepy when we've exchanged three messages, tops, and you're calling me "baby" and talking about moving to my area because "nothing's keeping me here anyway".
To come to the aid of my fellow single women, I've helpfully organized the types of men you meet online into several broad categories. This includes height (6 feet, 5'8", same diff, right?
Either he's being really forward with you or that "thinking of you" text was only sent to you because he wasn't paying attention.4.
You get a text that seems like it was meant for someone else.
Hell, I just gave a TEDx talk about this very thing.